In the United States, 1 out of every 3 people that drink is under the legal drinking age. This is a very serious issue that we as a nation are facing. If these drinking trends continue, the alcohol problem will only increase over time. The biggest concern with alcohol is that it is a gateway drug that can lead to the use of other drugs. However, there are different steps that can be taken by our government to at least lessen this problem, but they must be used soon. The most obvious idea to me would be to lower the drinking age down to 18 rather than the 21 age that it is now. Another solution would be to give a drinking “permit” to high school students to teach them how to drink responsibly. These resolutions can make a major impact on our culture and save it from becoming worse than it already is.
Should I put more specific details in the intro or does it give a good overall feel for the essay? Is the idea of putting both sides, whats the harm of alcohol and solutions to it, a good decision?
4 comments:
You have a great amount of detail and it is a good way of starting your essay off. I think that it is a good idea to talk about both sides of the issue of drinking. It helps the reader to know both sides the issue which ican be very helpful
Zack: I like that first piece of information (the statistic that you cite) as a way to start your introduction. In answer to your question, I think you could put more details or even powerful statistics to set the tone. The question I have is the transition from the beginning, which seems to indicate that underage drinking is a problem to solutions that include lowering the drinking age. You might want to be a little clearer about where this exactly going.
Nice job and keep working.
I personally think it is a tremendous and relevant topic, hwever you semm to arrive at a conclusion too soon. Giving away where your paper is headed. By just reading the intro I know what you areproposing and why. Leave the intor making the reader question what should happen and make the rest of the essay your answer.
Maybe the first few sentences need a little more detail, but other than that I thought it was descrptive and intriguing.
Post a Comment